“But you said you were sick of him and ready to walk out! Why are you giving him another chance? Nothing’s going to change, you know!”
It’s great to have friends and family to talk to when you’re angry or frustrated with your man, but when all they hear from you are complaints about him, you can’t blame them for taking your side and encouraging you to give him an ultimatum or leave.
So when you decide to give things another shot and commit to really working on your relationship, not only are they not going to understand why, they’ll probably feel confused and deceived and actively discourage you.
Now you feel torn between him and them, plus they’re not interested in listening to your successes when things start to turn around, especially if their own relationships aren’t going well. You feel ignored and abandoned by your “support team” and may even feel it’s not worth trying to make a go of your relationship if you lose your friends in the process.
If you’ve realised that you really don’t want to lose him and decided to give him and your relationship one last chance, get your friends on your side and enlist their support by first understanding why they feel as they do. Then give this 3-step process a try:
1) Tell them how much you appreciate them for having your back all this time and listening to you when you needed a shoulder to cry on.
2) Let them know you understand why they’re concerned and that although you still don’t know how things are going to turn out, you really want to give this your best shot.
3) Reassure them you still need them and ask them to help you focus on any positive changes as your relationship improves.
Then make the decision never to complain about him to friends or family again, as long as you’re in the relationship and committed to making it work.
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” ~ Richard Bach
Have you had the experience of friends or family encouraging you to leave your relationship? How did you handle it? Share with us in the comments 🙂