“Now I can relax knowing that I no longer have to control everything. I feel sexy, sensual and deeply in touch with my inner wisdom and femininity.”
A year of Miracles started in 2003, but truthfully, it started back in May 1999. I was broke. Really broke, no money at all, rent paid to the end of the month and that was it. A relationship had ended badly, I’d trashed my business (I told people I’d sold it, but I hadn’t), which left me with a large bank loan and a maxed-out credit card. I had no job and no source of income on the horizon.
I was so broke (and so dumb) that my sister, who was bringing up 2 kids on her own, put £20/$30 in an envelope and sent it to me to buy food – and the first thing I bought was a pack of cigarettes!
As an honours graduate from an English university, I was an accountant with my own practice and I’d built a reputation as a damn good software trainer. This was definitely not my finest hour!
Living the Dream is a phrase that can seem a little well worn, but now I am living my dream, absolutely, totally in awe and gratitude for how I did it.
My business nowadays is coaching powerful, high-achieving women facing their midlife years and beyond, to uncover the strength and wisdom in their femininity. I call it miraculous, because when I look back at the journey I have taken, it certainly seems to be so.
You see part of that journey was turning around the business model I was presented with. Along with many young women of my generation (I was 20 when The Feminine Mystique was published), I became successful by modelling men. There were very few successful women and most of those were neo-men.
When my relationship started to suffer, I realised I was treating it as an extension of my professional life and my partner as a subordinate in it. I effectively became the “man” in the relationship whilst despising him for not standing up to me.
Part of this process of change resulted in me finding, respecting and honouring the feminine wisdom in me that had not been valued. As a result, I turned my own relationship around (even though I’m 23 years older than he is, professionally more successful and earn more). He has stepped into his ‘King’ role and cherishes me as the ‘Queen’ I always wanted to be in the relationship.
Having lived through the process, I know these metaphors and archetypes are real. The deception of our society has created a model that does not fulfil a woman’s potential to be fully herself in whichever way she wants to be – with no rules!
How I transformed myself from that broke and broken woman into a thriving sensual woman who can relax and be successful while enjoying a really loving, juicy, romantic relationship, is what I teach and pass on.
In actual fact, this midlife point is an extraordinary opportunity to revive oneself, like the Phoenix rising from the ashes. This is a metaphor that can in fact be lived.
I knew the success of my work was kicking in when recently I was called a “wise woman.” I think that puts me officially in the crone class. Well I’m delighted to go with that, because my business is unashamedly about reconnection to the feminine.
I’ve also been called “The Queen of Self-Transformation” because whenever I came to a fork in the road, I chose the path leading to growth and self-development.
For those high achieving women who secretly want to rekindle a sense of adventure, to feel cherished, supported and sensual in their relationships and valuable in their work, my story is your story. Here’s to being sensual, fun, successful, sexy crones, so that not only do we and those around us benefit, but we are a beacon for our daughters, friends’ daughters, grandchildren and nieces who will follow in our footsteps.